Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Free In Jesus My Story Begins

I've been thinking for a long time about telling my story. People think I am a really nice person. This is not entirely true. I am as selfish and as self-focused as the next person. I can get very angry, swear, hurt the people I love for no reason -- other than my own frustration at life. I am ashamed afterwards. Which I suppose is now the only good trait I've mentioned. I am not a good person. But I have a wonderful, awesome, sinless and loving person living in me...the Lord Jesus Christ. And He's been with me for 43 years. I asked him to come into my heart when I was 13 years old. Now some people might think big deal, you didn't know any better, you were only a kid. You couldn't have made a very serious commitment. How on earth did that stick? Well let me go back a bit further. When I was 9, the oldest of 4 kids, my world was shattered. My parents split up. Something that didn't really happen in our little suburb in the early 60's. We were a phenomenon and frankly, it ripped my heart in two. I loved my dad more than life itself. He was my hero, my knight in shining armor, my world. I had followed him around doing errands, going to the park since my earliest memories. And now he was moving out. My first feeling was one of relief...because the arguing would stop and I hated it! My second feeling was, "You can't leave me here without you, how will I make it? What will I do?", My mom was nice enough, but she was not  my hero, or my best friend. She was busy caring for my sister I guess, 16 months younger than I, and the house too and later my brother, who I helped with a lot! And then the baby, also a boy. Man she was busy. She was going to be busy...and she going to need a lot of it turned  out that help would be me.

So, when I say I heard about Jesus at 13 it was no small thing. Here was a real hero. Someone who could fill the hole left by my Dad's leaving and set my heart free and my mind from the responsibility of being an adult way before my time. For I'd also become my mom's shoulder to lean on. I reached out to faith in Christ, asked him into my heart and began Bible Study like a sponge soaking up water. I was so thirsty for Him, so eager to know Him! And so it continued until the rebellious years of High School, where only His tremendous love for me kept me out of too much trouble. And His protection kept my recklessness in check, His faithfulness kept me from harm. But that's another story my friends!


AliveinMe said...

You are such a dear gift from Jesus-- we all find Him in HIS time--His reason.. and even over the time after excepting HIM-- MORE is to come, that has us grow CLOSER, walk TIGHTER.. trying to be more LIKE HIM! And we can't regret parts of life-as for He turns them into amazing good-all for His Glory!!! And you honestly have so many parts of life that even, not on this page-AMAZE me. You are precious thru His awesome love-the way you've let Him mold you! And I am thankful and thrilled He brought us to be friends!!!
Love you Libby!
In His Love,
Hetty @AliveinMe

libbytalks said...

Hetty, thank you so much -- you are such are treasure -- bought with the Pearl of Great Price: Jesus! I am delighted God blessed us with the gift of friendship! You bless, encourage and challenge me! You're so right... we can't regret any part of our lives because He is fashioning us for our work now and an eternity with Him!
Love you,

Kathleen said...

it's early in the morning and i couldn't sleep so i came in and read your blog. This brought tears to my eyes-i wish we had known about each other's pain in highschool...maybe we could have helped each other. love,Kathleen