Monday, March 8, 2010

The Storm -- My 20's

By my early twenties, I had really straightened up and was following the Lord Jesus very closely. I loved reading the Bible, praying and worshipping! I am very thankful for this...because things were not going to go very smoothly for quite a while. I don't like to think about my early twenties and it's painful to write about. I started out by getting married when I was only 20. Not a very good plan. I had met a young man at a church retreat and we were very in love. He was a seminary student and I was thrilled for the opportunity to help him in his ministry. After almost two years, while he was still in Seminary, we were in a small town in Minnesota and he was doing his internship to become a youth pastor. We decided it was time to have a baby and so we tried! Our little girl was born dead in October. She was at almost 7 months gestation and perfect. But I had a rare infected placenta which had cut off her blood and therefore air supply and she had died while I was in labor. We were heartbroken. Terribly. The doctor I had in the small town, told us we didn't have to wait even a minute, I could get pregnant right away again...not good advice! I was very thin and worn out, but we were eager and I became pregnant again with a son. He was born the following November. Unfortunately for the three of us, he had very severe heart defects. I remember when he was about one week old he went into heart failure. They decided to do a heart cath on him to map out where everything was and see if they could operate to alleviate his discomfort and help his heart which was beating way too hard and fast. While waiting during the heart cath with my husband and close relatives, I opened my Bible to the story of Abraham and Isaac. I read it with a prayerful heart and felt God telling me to put Davey on the altar of God that he was His and I needed to give him into the Lord's hands. I prayed and did so. I put my tiny baby in God's hands to do with as He willed. When the Heart Cath was over we had a full 3 page diagnosis, the words that David wouldn't be getting surgery because we would have to wait about 5 years until the Heart Surgery had advanced enough to accommodate his problem. And we still had our beloved son who actually took a turn for the better after the procedure! Thank you God! I was thankful and blessed that I had the privilege of knowing and caring for this delightful child for almost 11 months, when he died the next October due to complications following his first cold: we found out he also didn't have a spleen. Obviously, he was meant to live with Jesus. He was not meant for this world. Unfortunately however, my husband then, was so despondent and angry at God for the loss of our two dear babies, he left and we were divorced a year and a few months later. I call it the storm, because of the raging nature of the circumstances, left me without my family, when I was so happy with just a short time before. But the storm did not swallow me for the Lord held me in the palm of His mighty hand!

On a brighter note: In my later 20's I met and married Mike, my wonderful husband of 30 years. He and I were introduced by my father, who was a good friend of  Mike's dad who had died a few years earlier of a heart attack. We were truly love at first sights! But also quickly became and remain, best friends. We are so very fortunate for we remain best friends and our love has deepened with Jesus at the cornerstone over the years. We have an athletic, loving, terrific daughter who turned 27 in January. She brings us so much joy! It is so true that God brings restoration of our hearts, our souls and our lives, when we keep our eyes on Him and our faith in Him and His word! Praise His Name! AMEN!


Stephanie Shott said...

What a wonderful story of how God can take broken vessels with broken lives and bring redemption, restoration and peace!

Thank you so much for being so transparent and allowing God to use your pain to bring comfort to others.

I feel as though I now know you.

libbytalks said...

I've long felt that God allowed the pain for that very bring comfort to others by my sharing my story. Thank you Stephanie so much!